What Is Child Custody and How to File for It Without an Attorney

Child custody determines who handles a child's care and upbringing. Guardianship is not just a social contract but has legal consequences for ill-prepared adults. The decision is carefully made after investigating the candidate's social, mental, and financial means.

Navigating these situations can be challenging, as inquiries may take unexpected turns or feel like an attack on your person. While many opt to hire an attorney for guidance, filing for child custody without a lawyer is reasonable in less contentious cases.

What is the Custody of a Child?

Child custody refers to the legal binding between a guardian and a child, including the responsibility to provide for the child and the power to make decisions on the child's behalf.

There is a middle ground for child custody called guardianship. This role doesn’t require the child to be in your physical care but makes you responsible for the child’s maintenance and legal wrongdoings. Best of all, guardianship can award pseudo-custody of a child without going to court.

The primary types of child custody are sole custody and joint custody. The courts decide based on each parent's qualifications and relationship with each other.

Sole Custody

Sole custody allows one guardian to make significant decisions in the child's best interests. The non-managing parent is typically allowed visitation rights but cannot overrule the primary custodian in matters such as education or medical care. However, the primary cannot make decisions that jeopardize the partial rights awarded to the other parent.

For example, the parent with sole custody cannot unilaterally move the child away from the other parent. This decision interferes with the latter's ability to spend time with their child.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is the most commonly awarded situation. Courts typically try to keep both parents involved unless one of them is a proven threat.

Joint custody protects both parents' decision-making powers. However, this does not mean that both parents have equal access to the child. A primary guardian still lives with the child most of the time, but the non-managing parent has an equal voice in significant decisions.

In many states, the roles in this relationship are separated into "legal" and "physical" custody. The parent providing the child's permanent home holds physical custody while the other maintains legal rights.

These terms will be discussed frequently when drafting a custody agreement, so understanding them is crucial to ensuring you're not being treated unfairly.

How to Get Custody of a Child

Obtaining custody of a child isn't easy. You must prove that you're the most qualified guardian for the minor or, depending on your goals, the only qualified guardian.

Best Interest of the Child Standard

The bedrock of the judge's decision is what is in the "best interest of the child." This principle prioritizes the child's physical health, mental well-being, safety, and stability. Many courts also respect the child's wishes in close decisions.

Determining who is best suited to be the primary caregiver is lengthy and often intrusive. You must prove your parental abilities, as the judge will look for any reason to favor one parent over the other.

Even minor details like your home's distance to the child's school may sway the decision. Terrible acts like physical abuse will disqualify the offending adult and lead to revoked or significantly limited parental rights.

Factors Considered in Custody Decisions

An uncontested custody case won't dig too deeply into your life. However, things can get messy if you have a rocky relationship with the other potential guardians.

Courts evaluate how well you can meet the child's needs through background checks and social investigations.

• Meeting the Child's Needs: The court looks at the child's emotional and physical needs and determines which parent can better handle those needs. Financial means are a part of this, but properly addressing other life-altering factors like chronic illness, disabilities, and social issues are also considered.
• Parental Fitness: The candidates' health is confirmed to see if they can handle the physical strain of raising a child. Parents who are often sick or at risk of a medical emergency are less likely to receive sole custody.
• Stability: States strongly prefer parents who can provide a consistent lifestyle to the child. This means having a permanent home and work schedule to plan around.
• Past Performance: Former partners will bring up your faults as proof that you're an unfit guardian. They may cite your tendency to work late, forget dates, or miss meals as proof that your bad habits could extend to the child.
• Social Environment and Involvement: Parents who actively create a suitable social group and community are viewed more favorably. Do you know your child's teachers, friends, and role models? Are your friends and interests aligned with taking care of the child?
• Parental Cooperation: Judges like to see that you're willing to work with the other parent. They want proof that you can get past any ugliness in the relationship and put the child first.

One frequently asked question is, "Does it matter who the child wants to live with?"

In some states, children have a hand in deciding where they end up. However, this is only when both parents are suitable, and the child is old enough to understand what they're asking.

The required age varies between states, and their preference isn't the end-all-be-all of the case. The judge isn't concerned about who the "fun parent" is and will always side with what's better for the child.

How to File for Child Custody Without an Attorney

Filing for child custody without an attorney is stressful. It requires substantial research, organization, and documentation to prepare you for any questions the court may ask.

Research Your State's Laws

Parents must file for custody in the child's home state. Their home state is the most recent state where the child lived with a guardian for at least six consecutive months. Every jurisdiction has its own rules regarding custody cases, so it's best to familiarize yourself with the differences quickly.

For example, Texas enforces the non-custodial guardian's right to "parenting time" at weekly and holiday intervals. This rule only applies if the parents live within 100 miles of each other and may change according to local school district calendars.

These requirements are unique to Texas; other states have different allowances for sole and joint custodianship.

However, most state requirements are overwritten by parenting plans agreed to by both guardians. The courts only enforce minimums if an agreement can't be reached. Knowing your state's rules for visitation and access will ensure that you're treated fairly in the final plan.

Additionally, some states assign different weights to factors like the parent's health, the child's wishes, and past abuse when limiting a parent's power. Washington has the RCW 26.09.191 bill, which thoroughly describes when to limit someone's access, but there is a comparable document for each state.

A great resource for learning state-specific practices and laws is WomensLaw.org. This site clearly lays out the custody process and how the courts decide what's in the child's best interest.

Calculating Child Support

As part of preparing for a custody case, understanding child support obligations is crucial. Many states provide online tools to help estimate child support payments. For instance, if you are in Illinois, you can use the Illinois child support calculator to get an estimate of potential child support payments. This tool considers both parents' incomes, the amount of time each parent spends with the child, and other relevant factors to provide an accurate estimate.

Obtain Necessary Forms

The county's family law court handles child custody cases. The type of case you open will depend on your relationship with the other parent. Common parental situations include:

• Married or in a domestic partnership but want to divorce or legally separate
• Married or in a domestic partnership but do not want to divorce or legally separate
• Not married or in a domestic partnership, but both are the child's legal guardians
• Not married or in a domestic partnership, and only one member is the child's legal guardian
• One parent is a threat to your and the child's safety

The required forms for each scenario are typically found on your local family court's website. If they're unavailable online, you can call the courts and request them.

On top of the form requesting custody, there are other forms to consider submitting at the time. These will smoothen the process and ensure your safety during the case.

• Protective Order: Request a protective order from the judge if you're worried the other parent might threaten or harass you during the case. This helps prevent them from influencing custody in illegal ways.
• Temporary Orders: These create a temporary parenting plan for the child's care during the case. They bridge the gap until a finalized plan is created and should be requested as early as possible in the process.
• Statement of Inability to Pay: Guardians who cannot afford the paperwork fee may be able to file for assistance.

Complete the Forms

Take your time filling out these forms. Inaccuracies could delay a finalized parenting plan and leave the child in a less-than-ideal situation.

The most in-depth form will be your request for opening the case. You must include detailed information on your relationship with the child, proposed custody arrangement, schedules, and why it serves the child's best interest.

Additionally, send everything together, including forms you're not sure you need, such as spousal support, child name changes, or visitation restrictions. You can estimate how much to request in child support with a child support calculator.

Retracting a request during a trial is much easier than introducing a new one.

File the Forms with the Court

Once your forms are complete, file them with your local family court. These cases can take months or years to complete, so quickly submitting the initial paperwork is crucial. There will likely be a filing fee, but assistance programs and waivers exist for those who cannot afford it.

It's best to file in person to ask the court clerk questions about the process or make corrections on the spot. Make copies for the court, the respondent, and your records.

Serve the Other Parent

The filing partner must serve the other parent a set time before the hearing. The required period varies between states, but you can ask the court clerks for the exact time frame.

Respondents must be served in person and receive a Responsive Declaration form to return to the court. Afterward, whoever delivered the notice must prove they followed the correct procedure per the court's orders.

If the respondent is dangerous, the filing partner can ask law enforcement or a third-party service to handle the task. If choosing this option, expect a service charge and increased delay.

How to File a Petition for Custody Without a Lawyer

When filing your petition, you want to provide as much insight into your situation as possible. The most basic information includes the following:

• Child's Information: Full name, date of birth, current living arrangement, and special needs.
• Guardian's Information: Full names, contact information, finances, and their relation to the child.
• Custody Arrangement: Proposed parenting plan for future custody, visitation rights, and legal powers regarding the child.
• Supporting Evidence: Documented support of your previous statements, such as school records, medical records, witness testimony, and bank records.

Providing Supporting Evidence

Don't expect the court to take you at your word. Supporting evidence strengthens your claims and proves you're the right choice of guardian. Sources can be separated into three types:

• Documentation: School records, medical reports, and evidence of your involvement in the child's life are essential. These show that you care about the child's health and development.
• Witnesses: Ask friends, family, teachers, and other community members to vouch for your parenting abilities. They are not privy to what happens in private, but they can speak to the child's mental state and how they act around you.
• Physical Evidence: Pictures, text messages, and even school projects can demonstrate your relationship with the child. They can also contrast the differences between you and the other partner.

You may only use evidence you submit before appearing and after opening statements. It is the judge's responsibility to curate any evidence you submit. They choose what is relevant, authentic, and open to public scrutiny.

You should know the evidence well enough to reference specific documents while making your case.

The Court Process

A trial date is set once you've filed your petition and successfully served the other parent. The length of each phase varies greatly, but here's what you can typically expect:

• Mediation: Some jurisdictions require parents to go through mediation before setting a court date. This allows parents to negotiate differences in a controlled setting and with a neutral professional.
• Initial Hearing: The first hearing comes before the trial and involves conferences with the judge and handling any pretrial motions like a temporary order.
• Discovery: This step allows you to understand what the other side is bringing to the table. Even pro se (representing oneself) citizens can conduct depositions and request submitted documents.
• Custody Evaluation: Sometimes, a social investigator assesses both parents. They confirm the submitted claims and make recommendations to the court.
• Trial: At the trial, both parents present their cases. The judge makes a final custody determination, including visitation rights, living arrangements, and anything else related to the divorce.

Filing for child custody without an attorney is challenging but achievable if you understand your state's laws. Opening the court case typically requires submitting information about you and the child and an initial parenting plan.

The most important thing is to display your qualifications as a guardian and have enough evidence to back it up. The local family court can provide the necessary forms and guide you through any tasks specific to its jurisdiction.

Remember, while the process can be complex, many resources are available to guide you through each step, ensuring you can effectively advocate for your child's well-being.