Am I Dating a Stalker?

Relationships are an essential part of our lives. Like any dynamic enterprise, relationships come with their own set of risks and dangers. People can easily deceive their partners into believing things about them that may be misleading or untrue. While you may fully believe that your partner is genuinely who they say they are, there are some signs to look for that would indicate you might be dating a stalker. Stalking is a serious offense that could cause absolute havoc in someone’s life and put them in danger. You can protect yourself by being aware of the signs of a stalker. When you need certainty about an individual you are dating, people records may hold the truth that could protect you and save you from hurt or heartbreak.

What is a Stalker?

A stalker is a person who intentionally gains information about another individual after taking an intense or obsessive interest in their personal life. Stalking could look like an unwanted pursuit and harassment by someone you may or may not know. In other cases, a stalker could be the person you are dating who has taken an obsessive interest in the minute details of your life and your schedule.

Everyone has the automatic right to personal privacy, whether single or in a relationship. Every person has individual needs and desires that have nothing to do with others. If your partner demands that you give them your time and energy every waking minute of your day or otherwise seeks to control areas of your life, there might be a stalking issue in your relationship.

Different Types of Stalkers

There are seven main types that stalkers are classified into. Each one comes with its own set of signs and dangers.

Rejected Stalker

First, a rejected stalker is someone who has either been turned down by or broken up with their victim. Some of the signs of this type of stalker will be that they show anger toward their target or seek revenge. They may have a mindset of ownership and try to prevent their victim from dating anyone other than themselves, even harming their victim or their victim’s future partners.

Predatory Stalker

The second type of stalker is a predatory stalker. In this case, the signs of a stalker are following the victim in their private activities such as going to and from home, work, or school, having sexual fantasies about the victim, or making unwanted connections with them such as leaving notes or gifts. This type of stalker may seem to be always present in the background of the victim’s life or a constant presence the victim cannot escape from. This type of stalker may eventually act on their desires and sexually assault their victim.

Incompetent Stalker

A third type of stalker is the incompetent stalker, who generally cannot hold down a relationship, has undeveloped social skills, or cannot effectively communicate their feelings. They might be a lonely person longing to make a connection. Their interest, however, usually comes across in such an intense way that their target retreats. Since their interest is seldom returned, they find themselves in an unwelcome pursuit.

Resentful Stalker

Fourth, the resentful stalker may be someone who feels like they were wronged in a relationship and seeks revenge against their former partner. They usually view themselves as the victim of a bad relationship and justify any actions they take to either cause fear or harm. This can be an ex-coworker, ex-employee, angry relative, or another relation usually known to the victim.

Intimacy-Seeking Stalker

Fifthly, the intimacy-seeker operates under the assumption that they can convince their target to love them. Regardless of their target’s desires, the stalker acts on the unrealistic belief that their victim mirrors their feelings. They will harass their victim, making demands on their time and invading their living or working space.

Political Stalker

The sixth type of stalker targets political figures based on their political views. They may target individuals with differing viewpoints from their own and attempt to scare or threaten them into changing their political association. In other cases, they may harass a person with the same views, acting as a fan.

Hired Stalker

Lastly, the last type of stalker is one hired to threaten, injure, or kill a target on behalf of someone else who pays them.

Signs of a Stalker

Some stalkers will keep a physical distance and watch their target’s online presence. Cyber-stalking poses just as much of a threat as stalking in-person, as the stalker can keep track of their victim’s location and activities. If you are in a relationship with a person you suspect may be infringing on your privacy, there are online tools to help you identify the signs of a stalker. If someone lays claim to your time and your schedule in a way that oversteps your natural rights, they are acting as though they feel like they somehow own you.

A stalker might orchestrate seemingly random instances where you run into them because they have been following you or know where you will be at a particular time of day. They may feel the need to check in on who you communicate with and will try to influence who you talk to or meet with when they are not present. They feel like they have ownership over you.

How to Protect Yourself

Mental illness often plays a significant role in stalking situations. The individual will nurture an abnormal obsession with a specific person. If you are the focus of their obsession and you can recognize the signs, you can protect yourself before you are in danger. There are tools at your disposal to help you find out if your partner is who they say they are. You may have some trust in the person with whom you’ve developed a connection and might feel betrayed or hurt by the information. Thus, recognizing someone’s true nature, if negative, can come with shock and change your view of the person forever. These are things to keep in mind when you use public records. Public records can help you identify the signs of a stalker to verify a person’s identity or background for your safety and peace of mind.