What Can You Do if You Are a Victim of Domestic Abuse or Violence?

Domestic abuse is a pattern of abusive behavior toward an intimate partner in a dating or family relationship, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim. This abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. 

Domestic abuse is a pervasive issue - 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience domestic abuse in their intimate relationships. Even teenagers are not exempt from domestic abuse, with 1 in 3 teenagers likely to experience such violence in their relationships. If you are experiencing domestic violence or abuse, it is important to seek help so that you can safely get away from the abusive relationship and thrive afterward.

How to Recognize Domestic Abuse and Violence

There are often tell-tale signs that you can use to recognize people going through domestic abuse and violence. These signs are vital because many victims of domestic abuse do not speak up until it is too late. These indicators may be obvious or subtle.

What Are the Common Signs of Domestic Abuse?

The most obvious signs of domestic abuse are the physical signs that appear as injuries from a violent partner. This may include a black eye, bruises in different parts of the body, cigarette burns, marks of finger scratches, and repeated injuries that the victim cannot give a reasonable explanation for. The abuser may also force the victim into abusing drugs and deprive them of medical attention when needed.

The signs are not always physical - they may be emotional signs that are not as obvious. These include fear, anxiety, isolation, and low self-esteem in the victim and controlling behaviors and threats from the abuser. You can also watch out for gaslighting, where the abusive partner constantly makes the victim doubt their reality or sanity. This might come in the form of the abuser persistently denying the fact of the abuse and making the victim think they imagined it. The abuser may also engage in constant criticism of the victim to the point where they are worth nothing.

The signs may also show up in the financial arrangement between the couple. Some abusers use money to control the abused partner. For example, they might restrict their access to funds by not letting the victim have a job or bank account. If the victim already has a job, the abuser might also try to get them fired by making them go late to work or causing a scene in their workplace.

In today’s digital world, signs of abuse can also present themselves in a digital format. Abusers might monitor the communications of the victim by insisting they have access to all of the victim’s phone, email, and social media accounts and constantly check these accounts.

Who Are the Victims of Domestic Violence? 

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic status. The type of violence may also determine who is susceptible to it. For example, women are often the victims of intimate partner violence, but this does not mean that men do not suffer abuse in such relationships, too. People from lower social and financial classes may be more susceptible to social isolation or financial abuse. Kids are the victims of child abuse and neglect, while senior citizens may fall victim to elder abuse.

It is important to look at risk factors when trying to determine who the victim of domestic violence is. For example, people struggling with alcohol or drug addictions are more likely to be perpetrators or victims of domestic violence. In the same vein, pregnant women or women with mental illnesses can easily fall prey to domestic abuse in their relationships. When determining who the victim is, do not write anyone off, even if they present an image of a loving and happy relationship.

What Steps Can You Take if You’re a Victim of Domestic Abuse?

If you are a victim of domestic violence, be it physical, verbal, spiritual, psychological (emotional), financial, or sexual abuse, the first thing you need to do is seek help. There are a lot of helpful resources available to you to get the help you need. Another thing you need to do is report such abuse.

Seeking Help and Support

Domestic violence can get worse over time, so it is important to put your safety into consideration - reaching out can give you the resources you need to escape the dangerous relationship. Domestic abuse can have a profound effect on your mental and emotional health; as such, seeking support ensures that you can cope healthily. 

Seeking help and support also helps to break the cycle of abuse in your family, empowers you through effective support systems, and provides legal protection. You may take the following steps to get the required help:

• Call domestic violence hotlines: You may contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY at 1-800-787-3224, chat with them online or text “START” to 88788. 

If you are a teenager, you may reach out to Love is Respect – National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline at 1 (866) 331 – 9474.

Members of the LGBTQ community may use the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender National Hotline at 1 (888) 843 – 4564, 1 (800) 246 – 7743 (Youth Talkline), and 1 (888) 234 – 7243 (Senior Helpline).

• Contact trusted friends or family members: You can also contact trusted friends and family members to help leave the dangerous relationship. Friends and family members can provide emotional and financial support for those who require leave. They can provide shelter, transportation, and help with the children.

• Seek local shelters or crisis centers: The places that provide immediate aid to victims of domestic abuse. They provide much-needed temporary shelter, food, clothing, and counseling services to victims who are fleeing abusive partners and have nowhere to go. Their staff may also be trained to help you navigate the legal system and develop safety plans.

How To Report Domestic Violence?

It is also important that you report abuse to law enforcement as soon as possible. This can help to hold your abuser accountable for the violence, strengthen your legal options, protect you from them, and deter future abuse against you or other people. However, you must make these reports as safely as possible so as not to face retaliation from your abuser.

If it is an emergency, you can dial 911 immediately. You can also file a report with your local police department. Most police departments provide several options to get in touch with them, including an online reporting system. Note that some police departments do not allow domestic violence reports to be made online. 

How Can You Help Someone Who Is a Victim of Domestic Abuse?

If you have someone in your life who is or who you suspect is a victim of domestic abuse, help them as much as you can. Be patient with them and set aside time for them just in case they open up to you. Try to talk to them about it by expressing your worry and care for them. Ensure you listen without jumping to conclusions or offering advice - this may put them off.

It is important to believe victims of domestic abuse because, in many cases, victims don’t open up because they think no one will believe them. Offer them assurances and validate their feelings, whatever they may be. This will help the victim understand that they are not alone and that what they are going through is not their fault or the end of the story.

Importantly, encourage them to leave the relationship and report the abuse. Offer them specific support and resources. You may research local shelters, attorneys, counseling centers, and support groups that can help them. If you can, provide shelter or transportation. If they are in immediate danger, contact the police immediately. Remember to be patient with the victim; do not do anything that will discourage them from seeking help or make the situation more difficult.
 

Many victims of domestic violence suffer in silence because of so many reasons, including fear, self-blame, and hopelessness. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, it is important to prioritize your safety, seek help, and use the numerous resources and support that are available to you. Remember, you are not alone and the abuse is not your fault - it is not an indication of who you are and it is not the end of your story.