How to Get Over a Breakup?

Humans are biologically designed to desire companionship; when we are infants, we smile back at illusionary faces, whether clouds or electrical outlets. It’s no wonder why media injects love interests into every form of entertainment—affection inspires something different in every person.

When a couple breaks up, they are separating for multiple reasons. As a result, recently separated partners tend to hold strong feelings toward each other. These feelings progress into unresolved monologues, driving us to think about things we wish we’d said.

Immediately after heartbreak is the hardest part of a breakup. The heart may feel like it’s breaking, but these events are the necessary precursor to the best chapters of life. As Frank Sinatra said, “The best is yet to come.”

How to Move On from a Breakup?

Every relationship is as different as the people who share them; some relationships may take days to get over, and others may take a long time. Some may think they are over their partner, not realizing they are demonstrating toxic behaviors resulting from the breakup.

These destructive habits are why advocates suggest “taking a break from dating” following a breakup or separation. Much more than this, it provides the perfect opportunity to grieve, pamper thyself, and reset to face life’s next, most exciting challenges. The sections below offer six ways to help heal, grow, and overcome heartbreak.

1. Cut off Contact

Those with long-time relationship experience know how to move on the fastest by severing contact entirely and immediately. If you haven’t done it yet, block them. Forward their calls to voice mail automatically, block them on social media and game accounts, and delete old messages. If these seem like emotionally draining tasks—it’s because this is difficult. If done too soon, one risks regrets, but hanging onto old or potential contact will only ensure later problems.

One partner remaining open to contact opens both parties to further emotional damage. On the one hand, the open partner may take the non-blocked status to mean the other party wants to continue the relationship. On the other hand, the block-enabled partner benefits from not dealing with an ex and controlling interactions; they should not feel the compulsive need to contact or stalk the blocked partner.

Note: After realizing they’ve been blocked, some partners may create or mask their phone numbers to speak with their ex again. Try a phone lookup tool to verify the account’s owner if a phone number looks suspicious.

2. Focus on Your Positive Qualities

Everyone has insecurities, worries, and stress inducers—a breakup only inflates these limiters. Those who know how to heal from a breakup know to focus on their positive and developing qualities. The best time to rediscover ourselves is after heartbreak!

Whirlwind relationships are known for stereotypes, relying on shallow aspects of each person to carry the weight of genuine chemistry. When these relationships end, they shouldn’t be seen as failures but as a snapshot in time. Looking back on the relationship, we should find new insight to fuel personal growth; no one is as capable of this as you.

In comparison, long-term relationships are filled with history. When the honeymoon phase ends, partners may become combative or antagonistic, narcissistic or selfish, lazy or apathetic. Some become abusive. Every relationship is different, even more so with long-term commitments, so one relationship’s house chore could be another’s war. No matter how amicable the breakup seems on the outside, introspection is our greatest ally.

3. Lean on Supportive Friends and Family

If you want to know how to get over a breakup fast, talk to your mother (or Becky). Older guardians have a talent for reasoning away relationship pains for their children, but only if a bond is already formed. In comparison, friends have a particular ability to lift one’s thoughts away from dreary subjects. There’s something about spending time with attentive friends that allows broken hearts to be numbed temporarily.

4. Seek Professional Help if Needed

No one knows how to deal with a breakup as well as a specialized therapist. Qualified specialists can offer rapid insights that some people may never consider otherwise. They assist in helping us understand past situations from an objective point of view, hopefully aiding in growth or introspection. Professionals can also help individuals identify self-destructive behaviors like taking rebounds or obsessive ideas. A good therapist helps their client learn from their past in a non-biased, compassionate manner.

5. Learn From Experience

How long does it take to get over a breakup? It depends on too many factors to predict. For many, looking back on relationships may trigger anger or apathy. Many relationships never see a full-scale “over it” moment from both parties, resolutions to answers, or apologies. The surest sign of moving in the right direction is when the broken-hearten learn from their experiences.

A young couple, still enthralled with each other, look very different from others of another perspective. Peers may consider them romantic or hold feelings of resentment; mentors may consider them naive but well-meaning; skeptics may consider them fool-hardy. However, when the couple looks back on their relationship, they will see other nuances.

One party may see more reasons than ever to stay together—while the other is drowning in an obsessive relationship. Breakups happen in response to a fundamental need lacking for one or both partners; this means not learning from the experience is to do yourself a disservice.

6. Create a Supportive Routine

Some say they know how to get over heartbreak by creating a new daily routine with supportive elements. Returning to hobbies previously put aside during the relationship is an exciting step into a new day. By that same token, don’t let a breakup limit the activities available to oneself.

Those with predictable schedules are already on the route to creating a supportive routine. Notice, however, that the routine is not called a comfortable path. Now is the time to check in with mental and physical health professionals. They can help anyone reach their ultimate goal of moving on—especially if someone doesn’t know where to start. The rule of thumb suggests prioritizing physical movement for stress relief and meditation for introspection.

Don’t assume this requires a boring life until the “over it” moment comes upon you like a Buddha experiencing enlightenment. Build moments of excitement into your new schedule. Breakups are a time of exploration and comfort. There are no limitations for things to try or experience.

Where Do We Go Now?

No one knows what to do after a breakup; it’s confusing and heart-crushing. Self-help websites say to take it a day at a time and that time heals all wounds. They never mention that the broken-hearted must take each day at a time or that time heals with scars. People can only choose what to do next for themselves; subsequently, only the individual can “get over it and move on.” That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn more about ourselves along the way—the next chapter beckons.

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